Playing House

In case you didn't know from the several posts and arrow pointing to my car payoff ticker, the goal is accomplished, and now I shall decorate my home. Hooray.

I've had a lovely time at furniture stores and looking online for different things... Right now, I'm working on the front room...

Blue Couch. Ignore the pillows.

Pay attention to THIS pillow:

This looks a lot smaller than it really is. It can technically fit eight.

(You know, for those SIX children we're going to have)

For the giant wall in our family room.

Just getting ideas right now, but it has been awfully fun. Any brilliant, contrasting/coordinating ideas for the blue couch? We need to stay away from tans/browns because we already have a ton of that in the house itself (carpet, railings, cabinets...) We're also trying to stay away from (cough cough... and no offense to those around me...) the "typical Utah Mormon" home.

And now I must return to my Internet surfing...

No Words

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I Love Ya, Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I am paying off my car. Two cars in one year on (Uh-Hem) jobs that don't exactly pay what college grads typically get. ;-)

I DID IT.

When I requested my payoff balance today I felt giddy as I thought of everything that I can DO with the money I make now! Hooray! I want clothesandfurnitureandmorevacationsandfoodstorageandhomedecorandsocksfromCostcoandapianoandjewelry.

I also want voicelessonsandaboar'shairbrushandashoppingspreeatHomeGoodsandshoesandlotsoffoodformycupboardsandlotsofotherthings.

I find it rude that as I am writing this a Marshall's commercial flashed across the TV. No Marshall's for hundreds of miles. Boo.

PS: To whomever controls the fates of Murphy's Law- you are not welcome in my life just because I have accomplished this task. ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED! NO WAY, JOSE.

Attachment to the "Professional"

World:

It has been two years now since I was in a contracted performing gig. I am a member of "Actor's Equity Association." It's a coveted place to be for many in the theatre world. It opens the world of professional auditioning and pay, etc. etc. etc. I am proud of my membership in it. I worked to get there, and that silly little card that I carry around with me everywhere says, "Yes, Amy. You are a professional."

I work at a preschool/dance studio. I work at a bridal store. I teach musical theatre classes. But my PROFESSION is that of performer. And I love it.

Now let me remind you, again, that it has been two years since I have had a professional contract. It's been two years since I have performed at all. (Minus some concerts here and there that I have been SO grateful for.)

I live in Utah. The world of professional theatre is limited here. Almost all of the theatres here do not work with Actors Equity contracts. (Pioneer, Tuacahn, and a few others being the exceptions...) So far, attempts at getting my foot in the door of pro Utah theatre, for whatever reason, have been futile (granted, I have only tried twice... but still...) It has been discouraging.

So what's the dilemma? I haven't performed in two years. The world of semi pro and community theatre here in Utah is glorious. My time spent at the Hale theatres in Orem and West Valley are times I hold dear to my heart. I LOVE performing there. I feel happy when I am performing there.

But I take great pride in the fact that I am a PROFESSIONAL. I love to think that if I CHOSE to do big things, (that would require me to leave Utah and my hubby and house), I absolutely could. I know I could. But I really love my husband and my house. And my cat. My life.

Performing is the only way I know how to make GOOD money. What if I really NEED to do that again? Gah.

What is all this about? I'm kind of at a crossroads. To my fellow "pros": You probably think I am crazy for even considering giving up that professional status. To my lifelong friends/LDS mommies: The dilemma may be hard to understand, and the answer obvious.

Do I give up that little card that I feel gives me credibility and a sense of accomplishment just so I can actually DO what I want to? Do I live my life- the one that I love- at home (hubby, babies, the "norm") and perform "on the side" at the theatres around here I adore? And how do I find peace and fulfillment in that without any regret?

Thoughts? Comments of how crazy I am (on either side of the issue)?

(I have a few friends who will find this post a broken record. . . I am processing things. It's a work in progress.)

Morning

This morning for breakfast I am eating this.

I haven't had grapefruit for breakfast in years. I used to eat one every day at Ricks College.

I feel twenty again...

It's a morning full of happy memories!

MIA

What do I want for my birthday? I want my blog made into books. Yep. Thanks, dear. (The birthday is only four months away- gotta start early!)

Oh what? I've been MIA since returning from the big boat ride? Yeah- that's what happens when I take two weeks off and must return to real life. Back to wedding gowns and nightmares about dance costumes. (I haven't slept the last two nights because I can't shut off my mind from a project I am doing at the dance studio. Costumes. Everywhere.) My husband always has to veg in front of the TV for a little while before bed to get his mind off the day. I am starting to wonder if I need to take up that habit...

I'm also back to my little ticker to the right. 87.2% done. Less than a month before the ticker is gone! Hooray! (Yes, I should pay off the credit card too... but I think I will take a little break and buy some clothes and furniture. I deserve it.)

So that's life right now. Someday I will post pictures and take myself back to the eastern Caribbean...

Heaven!

TWO

Hard to believe that it has been TWO YEARS since this happy day at the Timpanogos temple. The weather is about the same today as it was two years ago when this video

http://snowflakeproductions.blogspot.com/2009/03/amy-and-chuck-mt-timpanogos.html

was made.

Happy day. With lots of happy memories.

... Can we do it again????!!?

85 Degree Sunshine

Quick post tonight-

Thank you, life, for giving me a twelve day break of goodness. It was BEYOND needed.

Disney Magic, I love you - Even if I do feel like I am still rocking on the ocean... And I even forgive you for not taking us to Castaway Cay like you were supposed to. It wasn't your fault that those people decided to have life threatening conditions that threw us off course.

Dear Skin: You are getting older. I can tell because for the first time I got a TEENSY bit of sun on my face and all of a sudden I have freckles. EVERYWHERE. Forehead, cheeks, nose... it used to take a few burns to bring out those babies... I guess I should feel good about my face looking like it did when I was NINE.

Disney's Electrical Light Parade: You make me feel like a giddy little girl. It takes A LOT for that to happen. Thanks.

Pop Century Resort at Disney World: You are hilariously AWFUL looking but provided a happy little place for us to stay for a few nights.

Little Town, It's a Quiet Village: I always love revisiting you for a day. I also love making more money in ONE DAY than I do in a WEEK here in Utah...

Little Ticker on This Blog: I am ready to buckle down and get rid of you. LESS THAN TWO MONTHS!!!!!! (Thank the Disney Magic for extending your life a few months!)

Tredmill. And Bob. : I have a feeling we are going to be good friends for awhile.

Body: Time to retrain yourself... EATING ON A WHIM FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THE FOOD IS THERE IS NO LONGER ALLOWED.

Life is good. But can we go again?????

Happies and Needs of a Sunday Night

I need some of this:

And this:

And definitely some of this:

Please come quickly.

Happies:

1. Italiano: Have I ever mentioned how much I adore Carrabba's? I sure wish we had more than just one of them in Utah- thank heaven that ONE is close to me! Rigatoni Martino for Valentines dinner. Thrilling. Not on the menu anymore- must ask for it. DO ask for it. Oh, delish.

Thank you, cute husband of mine, for two Valentine's dinners. I so needed those.

2. Kilverd: I love my kitty. I hate his fur on my clothes (DESPISE it actually...) but I sure love him.

3. Little Chiddrens: Primary was fun today. I think that, amidst all the chaos of administration, it's important to enjoy the moments. Terribly cute.

:-)

Sunday Sunshine

It was another long and busy week. Phew. I am running around like a wild woman trying to balance three jobs, a husband, a calling, a kitty, and life in general. But- it's all good. Time is passing quickly and I now have a BIG BOAT ride to look forward to (and getting that car paid off...) so I CAN DO THIS!

Here are happies of the week:

1. Stuffing My Face: I love every other Sunday at Chuck's grandparents' home. I love the company and the food and the opportunity I have to call Chuck's quirks out in front of his family. ;-)

2. Addiction:

Chuck and I have a new addiction. I love it.

3. Outwit, Outlast, Outplay: SURVIVOR starts again this week!

4. My Princess: Chuck sings to me- Disney princess songs. And it cracks me up every time. He is funny- and that makes me happy.

(He claims I only write things about him on this blog that make him look like a pansy... he is not a pansy- he is just silly. And that is one of the main reason I LOVE him!!!!)

5. 10%: Chuck and I faithfully pay our tithing. (Not tooting a horn here... testifying...) - Every time we get paid I immediately write that check for 10% of what we made. We give it to the bishopric and move on. Every once in awhile, like this week, we see the blessings that come from the sacrifice we make. Friday morning Chuck called and told me that he'd received a VERY nice bonus (we had NO idea it was coming) that had been deposited in our account that morning. I was shocked and elated. Our big boat ride is paid for - plus some. Paying off the car won't be as far off as I anticipated! I LOVE TITHING BLESSINGS!

6. Memories: SO excited for the big boat ride with my hubby, sister, niece, Daddy, and step-mom. I CAN NOT WAIT to make some great memories and have time with family that we don't see nearly as often as we should. HAPPINESS!

7. Hot Air: Thanks for the feedback on last week's steam blowing blog. I needed to vent, and I hope I did it tactfully. Thank you for the wonderful support and good feedback. :-)

Life is good. And busy. Have a lovely week!

Flynn and Rapunzel

Don't have anything specific to write tonight... but I feel like writing. My posts are incredibly random lately...

Sometimes I read friends' blogs and crack up at the hilarious things their kiddos say and do. And then I find myself thinking, "That would be fun." I guess that's progress, eh? ;-)

My calling is going to make me fat. No, really. I am in a presidency with three fabulous women and at our weekly (or more) meetings, they insist on having treats. I gladly partake. Tonight it was Andes Mints, Cookies and Cream Hershey's Kisses, and doughnuts. Yeah. Fatty me. IT ALL JUST TASTES SO GOOD!!!

* HUGE PET PEEVE * - When someone with a Master's degree can't spell or use correct grammar. Drives me absolutely bonkers. Oh, and when they don't use punctuation. Oh, and even if they DON'T have a Master's it bugs me. But I just can't help but think, "You went through all that schooling and you still can't write?"

Call me a jerk.

I am relatively chill person. I * THINK * I am easy to get along with (though I admit that whole awkwardly shy thing gets in the way sometimes...), and for the most part, things don't bother me. Water off a ducks back, right?

Well, I need to talk about something. There people in life right now that I CAN NOT stand. A thought of, or someone talking about these particular people makes my blood BOIL with fury. I can not believe how angry I feel over it all.

Blogs and Facebook DO NOT help.

I don't want to be like this. I am working to learn and know how to let go of these particular things - why should I be allowing these people to have such power over my peace and sanity? I am a decently forgiving person- but in these particular circumstances I just can't seem to get past it all. I feel like writing mean things on FB and blogs... I feel like lashing out and saying REALLY awful things to these people. Ugh- the natural man in me is in full force when it comes to these individuals.

But that is SO not who I am. Or who I want to be. Some days are better than others, of course. Some days - rarely - I can go an entire day without feeling that blood boil at the mention of a name. But it's a work in progress.

Mostly I would say that this last little rant is something better written in a journal than on the public stage that is my blog - I have class like that. ;-) BUT I am sure that there are some of you out there who have felt/are feeling the exact same way.

Besides all of the Sunday School answers, how do YOU deal with these kinds of feelings?

Being a grown up is way less cool than being a kid, P.S.

* Shudder *

Back to the good stuff!

I got a good coupon the other day! "Buy one oil change, get a second FREE"! Oh, I love good deals... now I have to run up the miles on my car so the coupon won't expire before I actually NEED an oil change! - SMIRK -

Thursday is pay day. I love pay day.

A friend (Thanks, Nicole...) told me that Chuck and I are like Flynn and Rapunzel. It made me little girl-y happy.

Do you see the resemblance???? :-)

Sunshiney Day

Oh, how thankful I am for Sundays. Even though a few hours of my Sabbaths are spent in the arena known as Primary, I consider these days restful and peaceful. Which reminded me of something...

Lets talk about ten years ago...

Ten years ago I couldn't remember much about the ten years prior. How is it that now I can remember almost EVERYTHING about the past ten years? Sigh.

I bring all this up because not since a time, ten years ago, have I cherished my Sundays as much as I do now.

Actually, I started thinking about that time of life when I saw a status on a friend's Facebook wall about PLAYMILL auditions.

Ten years ago this summer, my adventures at the Playmill began. That truly seems impossible. I remember, clear as day, the night that Roger Merrill called and invited me to be a member of the 2001 cast. I was giddy- and that one phone call changed my life for the next few years.

Oh, they were happy times. Busy, busy, happy times. I worked like a crazy person, and when Sundays came I would CRASH. Much like I do now.

* Feeling sentimental. *

Ten years goes by really fast.

Which leads me to my next point:

I mentioned awhile back that I am afraid of LIFE. (Silly for a girl who genuinely LOVES it, I know...) With things that have happened in our families the past year or so, I have become keenly aware of how HARD life can be and that REALLY bad things can happen- even when you are just going about living the good way that you should be. Sadly, I think it all has spooked me a bit when it comes to living.

I am scared of getting old.

I am afraid of having babies and them growing up.

I am frightened of accidents and illness and osteoporosis....

I am terrified of only having x amount of years left with grandparents, parents, ect.

I ache over losing friends that I love. (Time does that, ya know?)

"So," you ask, "Where is your eternal perspective, Ames?" It seems to have been a little scared off in the last year. Could someone please help me find it?

It may take a little while to get back into my "Go Get 'em Life" mode.

... I'm waiting...

OK. Let's talk now about my vacay: "St Maarten, St John/St Thomas, Castaway Cay, and three relaxing days at sea." Thank you, DCL, I will TAKE IT!!!

Um- have I mentioned that I am now the person who oversees the Cub Scouts in Primary? I. Have. No. Idea. But Chuck's Grandma gave me a super cute picture of my husband as a seven- year-old Cub Scout. I want to eat him up. And that concludes my current knowledge of the Cub Scouts.

OH! Not true: Wolf, Bear, Webelos....

Next thought:

I am blissfully giddy over the fact that I got married at 27 and lived a bit of my life. Life is wonderful because of it.

And what else?

I bite my nails when I am anxious. My nails have been growing this week- which means less anxiety. Awesome. (Details of the "princess" that you never knew, right???)

Cruise = Pedicure.

Pizza is delish.

I get a massage tomorrow.

I love Mondays.

Nowadays

A quick update on my life (because I have been somewhat MIA lately in the bloggy blog world):

- I bought myself the AE coat. I love it, and so does my cat. I think he truly believes it is the mother who bore him in the barn. Needless to say I make sure it is always hung up...

- Still lovin' me some "Bachelor." I look forward to Monday night every week! Fun little tidbit: I dated Michelle's brother.... And Emily looks like my old roomie Lisa.

- Remember the Sunset Boulevard audition? Yeah- didn't get in- and let me tell you, it was TRAGEDY for about a week. All of my friends who had auditioned with me were cast, and that, let me tell you, was rough. I haven't been so irrational about an audition in a REALLY long time, but that whole thing just struck me to the core and deflated any motivation I have to perform. I skipped an audition I'd planned on doing the following week, and now I am just busy living my life. Work, Primary meetings, planning an awesome vacay- Life is good. And I am happy.

And I totally got over not making the show. That feels nice.

(It didn't hurt that I have the cutest husband in the world who wrote me a cute note and brought home the "Tangled" soundtrack to make me feel better!)

- On Mondays and Fridays I clean my house.

- I used to run five miles a day. That sure is in the past...

- My dear friend Sam and his wife Emily had a baby this week. I am THRILLED for them.

- Trip planning meeting with the fam tonight! Can't wait!!!!!!!

Giant Boat

Yes, friends. I am still alive. Been working like I crazy person, but I am proud to announce that I have finally caved.

Taking a break from paying off the car. It's going going to put me off a few weeks, but I'm preeeeeeety sure it will be worth it. So now we're shooting for a payoff sometime in April. Not bad. And I will stay sane in the process. Ha.

The opportunity presented itself unexpectedly, and we have decided it's time to go float around on a giant boat again - this time with my sister, niece, dad, and step-mom.

Happy. Can't wait.

Brad Says Hi

So have any of you noticed, as I have, how Brad the Bachelor consistently saunters into his room of ladies and says, "Heh-low."

Pay attention next time. It'll drive you nuts.

Somewhat Obsessed

Sun

1. Fresh: New ward. New callings. New energy. It's all good and fun. And busy. Chuck is Exec. Secretary and I am in the Primary presidency. You will all be happy to know that in this ward there are only 92 Primary children... ;-)

2. Kiddos: I'm getting a new class at the Scera. My other class, called General Ruckus, will be having auditions for their Spring show, Guys and Dolls Junior, on Thursday. My new class will be a group of home schooled kids. It should be lots of fun.

3.

La La La: I did another audition this weekend, and this time I didn't make a total fool of myself. I am pretty happy with how it went, but there's really no telling if what I did was enough to be cast. And that's ok. I am happy of the simple fact that after hours of nerves and stress, I was able to come home and hold the hand of the boy I love. THAT'S what matters. And that's what makes me happy.

4. Softer: I changed the music on my blog. Were you all sick of "Miss Independent?" I was. Two years after I get married I decide it's time to let go of Amy's theme song... The new songs are somewhat different, eh?

5. Upcoming: Chuck and I went to the Home Decorating Show at Southtowne Expo this weekend and found this little gem. http://www.seanswoodworking.com We've been looking high and low for a nice, tall piece to put under our TV, and these people may be the great and fancy solution!!! Now we just need the money. Speaking of which- notice my ticker? It's getting closer to that 100% . . .

6.

I love this pretty puff coat. I want it. $119 at AE and now reduced to $79. With an extra 30% on top of that... do I do it? Hmmmmmmmmmmm... I fear I am still too cheap to do it. Sigh.

7. Non-Stop: I'm busy busy again with work. I work six days a week. And soon I will need a vacay. Hopefully soon we'll be booking a big boat ride. I love big boat rides.

Happy weeking to you all...

Ladies, He's "Here for the RIGHT REASONS!"

Oh happy, happy day- THE BACHELOR is back!!! Can't stay up posting tonight - I am GOING to go to bed at a decent time tonight - but so far I am totally diggin' the season.

So far we have several celebrity look-alikes:

- Scarlett Johanson only not as pretty and with a MUCH smaller top half -

I'm sorry... did I miss that this season involves the Cullens?

(PS: Where did her fangs go for this shoot???)

"SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME, LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY!"

And the way this girl constantly puckers her glossed up lips drives me bananas...

But this girl, I love.

Emily. I like her. Too bad she doesn't have fangs...

I Used to Do This Thing...

called SUNDAY SUNSHINE.

And then I got busy and tired. And the holidays hit, so I got fat too. I love truffles.

And bunnies.

Have I ever mentioned that we live among a group of people that breed like bunnies??? That's another story... ANYWAY...

HAPPIES:

1. New Ward! Today was an exciting day in our neighborhood. Our ward split for the second time since we moved here in April of '09! (Remember the bunnies??) Fine- it's not the bunny factor that produces imminent ward splitting, but all of the homes being built seem to be something the Church just can't keep up with! It's actually quite fun! We always have new ward members and any regular old Sunday looks like Stake Conference. So today we split. And we're totally excited about it.

I am quite sad over some of the kiddos I will no longer see in Primary. Henry... Abby... Tayvin... Sniffle.

BUT the new year brings with it a new ward, new callings, new friends, etc. etc. etc.

Chuck is now the Executive Secretary. I love him.

Should be fun.

2. 2011: We had a delightful New Years Eve with our Office Night friends - minus Kjersti and Amy who were in Florida...

Gilbert, unfortunately, didn't like New Years Eve. He apparently hates noisemakers.

3. Winter:

This is what we see when we look out our window. Beautiful!

4. Just Make Yourself Right at Home...

Cat on bed= serious NO NO. But the other night we couldn't find this little rascal...

(PS: I usually DO make our bed!!!! Practically always. Just not that day!)

5.

MONTHS TILL THE CAR IS PAID OFF!!!!

6. New: Last year I posted THIS in regard to my New Year resolution. I failed miserably. Life got to me and the trials going on among our family members really brought me down. So this year I am going to try again. Sometimes it takes a few years worth of the same resolution to stick, eh? I'm grateful for the chance to try again.

7. Chop Chop: I chopped off my hair and now it is really blonde again, too. Seven inches. Hasn't been this short since '03. Yikes.

And tomorrow we go back to normal life and the day to day routine. Guess I'm up for it! Here we go, 2011!

Good Riddance 2010

It's probably not surprising to most of you that I am THRILLED that 2010 is over.

Chuck and I had some GREAT, WONDERFUL, and HAPPY times this year, but sadly most of that was overshadowed by the heartache and trial of those closest to us. It was rough. The things going on weighed very heavily on our minds, many tears were shed, and countless prayers were offered on behalf of those we love. It all just plain HURT. A LOT. And honestly, it all continues to sting a little.

BUT - I am thankful that with this new year, those people in our lives who are hurting are beginning to rebuild and face the future with optimism. Good things will happen for them.2011 will be good. And I can not wait!

New Year's: Look Not Behind Thee

Dilly-Dallying...

A weekday afternoon/evening and I have time for blogging...

Holidays=Less Work= Happy Amy.

My latest HAPPIES:

1.

It is not very often that I LOVE a movie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tangled. Chuck and I finally saw it on Monday and I adored it. So much. I felt like a nine-year-old as I got all wrapped up in the fairy tale of it all. Oh, so wonderful. Thoughts?

2.

This is how Gilbert- recently nicknamed "Gilford Woodruff"- sleeps. Never seen a cat sleep like this before

3.

A few mornings ago, as I woke up, Chuck informed me that I missed the Christmas episode of "Glee." (In all honestly I have missed MANY episodes... I've kind of lost that lovin' feelin'...) ANYWAY, he proceeds to perform the Finn/Rachel version of "Last Christmas" as seen on the show. I am so happy he keeps me entertained. And that he doesn't murder me when I tell stories like this on the blog...

4.

Skye and Jyl- Our niece and Jyl the dog kept us thoroughly entertained on Christmas Day.

Skye doing her "Pole Dance."

5.

Truffles- Blast my sister who gave us "Cocoa Dusted Truffles" as part of our Christmas gifts. They are delish and there are a zillion- yes, a ZILLION- of them and I keep eating them. Ugh.

6.

Demon Kitty- Chuck posted this on Facebook this week and it got more attention than any other pictures of the two of us ever have.

7.

My Little Jar of Vaseline-I'm attached to this thing. Ridiculous. It ran out this week. It's the end of an era.

Little Jar of Vaseline joined my life during the summer of 2003. I was living in West Yellowstone and bought him at the "Apothecary." It's dry up there, so Trudy Bidwell told the cast to put Vaseline up our noses to avoid nosebleeds and lots of dry boogers. Ha.

Fast forward- Little Jar of Vaseline becomes very well traveled:

The Playmill housing was his first home.

He goes to BYU with me.

He travels all over Asia with the Young Ambassadors.

He flies to NYC.

He moves to the other side of the world! (Back to Asia, really, Amy???)

He moves back to Utah

Then he goes on a cross country trip to Florida where he makes his new home.

Two years later I drag him back to Utah and we move into a new house.

And now he's gone.

Seven and a half years later.

Lots of history with that Little Jar of Vaseline. Sniffle.

Yes. I'm a crazy person for writing about Vaseline.

And that concludes this post. Thank you.

The Tale of a Younger Me at Christmastime

Lets discuss my obsession with Ballet West's "The Nutcracker."

See the dresses and pantaloons on these girls? While most kids spend their holidays dreaming of toys and candy- I spent MY childhood obsessing over these "Party Girls."

Words can not describe how badly I wanted to be one of them.

I auditioned three times.

First Year: I wore my red shiny leotard in hopes I would be chosen as a "Buffoon." No cigar, kiddo. Thanks, Mommy, for getting my ears pierced at Claire's to ease this first rejection...

Second Year: I was tall enough to be a party girl- I must have been about ten? I spent the month of September preparing for the auditions - listening to The Nutcracker constantly and drawing motivational pictures of "Party Girls" and taping them ALL over my room. (Oh, how I hope I have some of those somewhere - ya know, for the day I actually get around to scrapbooking my childhood...) Audition day came. I remember how proud I was of the way I looked. Once again... rejection...

But I am a resilient little bugger!

Year Number Three: LAST CHANCE TO BE A PARTY GIRL. By the next year I would surely be too tall.

Now let's reminisce on the tragedy of this audition:

Again, I was proud of how I looked in my fantastic sparkly blue leotard (that matched my eyes exquisitely, thank you very much!) and well worn ballet slippers. I. Was. Ready. I'd drawn plenty of pictures and psyched myself up to dance like a star and they were GOING to cast me!

I was proud of my audition, and when it came time for the hundreds of little girls to sit on the floor as the cuts were made, I was confident. Number after number was read- and finally- the number of girls left was tiny.

"One more to cut!" the lady said. "The rest of you will be part of Ballet West's 'Nutcracker' this year.

I noticed the KSL news camera in the room ready to broadcast the reaction of the newest "Party Girls." Good.

I was in. I was giddy.

And then, THEN, they called the number. The last girl to be cut.

Me.

Ouch.

The girls start screaming and jumping up and down.

But not me. All I could do was sob in disbelief. And KSL decided to capture that moment and put it on TV that night. Way to rub salt in the wound, Carole Mikita- it's amazing I still worship you and your job!

Shake it off...

POINT IS:

I got over the trauma of never making "The Nutcracker" (And let's be honest- it was prophetic, right? I will NEVER be cast as a DANCER!) and I absolutely love and adore Ballet West's production.

I am a little miffed that the "Party Girl" choreography has changed since 1990, but whatever.

I would attend this production every year if I could. EVERY YEAR- like my cousins and I used to.

* Memories *

Grandma Colleen and our moms would pack us up for a night out in new, frilly dresses, and shiny black shoes.

We'd go to dinner and the ballet.

Those were happy, happy times.

My grandma was cool.

And I love Ballet West's "The Nutcracker." A lot.

Oh, and PS: The same year of the horrifying 'Nutcracker' rejection I WAS cast as a dancer in Utah Ballet's production of "The Monkey King." I was a raindrop, a monkey, and a birth giving stone. Yes. A stone that gave birth- to a monkey. Lucky me.

Prepare...

* Notice to All Parents, Relatives, and Friends: None of your Christmas presents will be a frame adorned with a growing fetus photo or a snapshot of me holding a pee stick with a big purple +. Just thought I'd give you a heads up as to avoid the disappointed looks we will surely receive. ;-)

Does it Make Me a Grown Up When...

Getting a new washer and dryer makes me giddy and I want to stay home all day doing laundry?

I need to go buy some Tide in celebration.

What has my life come to?

On a Quiet Sunday...

"We become what we want to be

by consistently being what we

want to become each day."

Richard G. Scott

Told you I was on a quote kick.

Ponderings #2

On a quote kick, I suppose:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Ponderings of a Winter's Night

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble." - Helen Keller

Random Rants

I am here.

I'm alive.

I'm sick.

But alive.

So that's definitely a good thing.

So y'all know how I was whining about being "stuck" in Orlando with nothing to do? I'm glad I enjoyed it while I was there because now that I am home, life is going a zillion mph. Yes, a zillion.

Work. Workworkwork. Which is GREAT- Dear Mazda That I Love: I WANT YOU PAID OFF. I WANT TO OWN YOU...

I want to buy clothes.

Now some would think that I would use at least one paycheck to purchase my husband and myself ya know- at least some decent winter clothing to help us survive the season? Nope. I am 100% focused on that car. Sweaters? NAH! Lets just keep wearing the same things we've worn all year long- only with hoodies over them. I have hoodies. Yeah. Hoodies with "Hong Kong Disneyland" plastered across the front. I am so stylish!

Santa Clauses: Please be kind.

I got a really good job offer. (A REAL kind of job- not the acting kind...) I turned it down. Turmoil- lots of it. Long story that I absolutely won't bore you all with- but that's been my last couple weeks.

I'm ready for turkey and pie. Tonight I had pizza and cinnamon bread sticks. It was delish. So much for saving my weekly calories for later in the week.

On Saturday nights there's this little ditty on 106.5 called "Showtunes Saturday Night." OH, I'm sorry, what? You changed your name to "Showtunes Tonight"????? Living in Florida threw me off my Utah groove. Point is: I heard Frances Ruffelle's version of "On My Own," (shudder...) and was thrown into my 1992 "Karaoke while my mom isn't home" days. I have a tape- yes, a TAPE- of me singing that song, HER style during that era. Thank heaven I grew out of THAT phase.

I should go to bed.

Bring on the blizzard.

I love winter.

It's a good thing I have all those hoodies.

Christina Bianco, Broadway Divas sing "Tomorrow"

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Having a relaxing (aka- trying to stop the sickness! I literally have no voice...) morning at home. Came across this. Made me laugh.

Down Time

One more day of work for me here at the magical world of Disney. For now anyway. I've been here for two weeks and have thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Tonight the 20+ show ends, and sadly, the event I was booked for later this week got cancelled. I'd have just come home on my original flight but it was going to cost me $300 in addition to what I'd already spent. I'm a tight wad thank you very much, I'll just stay here for the extra six days.

Six days. With no work. I might go crazy.

Many of you think that life could be harder than being stuck in Orlando for six days with nothing to do. But you have to remember that I LIVED here for awhile so the novelty of theme parks has worn off. (Cue husband rolling his eyes now...) It's basically like being stuck at home with NOTHING to do for a week.

So what will I do?

Enjoy it while I can, I guess! Maybe I will READ, or write in my journal, and I'll probably even hop onto the Family Search website and play with genealogy for the first time in years.

And then I'll come back home and get back into the grind of paying off my car. SIX MONTHS. I can do it.

By the way, THANK YOU for all of the wonderful feedback, motivation, and support in regard to the PAYING OFF THE CARS obsession. It's rough turning over your ENTIRE paycheck to pay for something already in your possession. But I know it is totally worth it and many of you have told me how smart we are to be doing this NOW rather than later. I love hearing your success stories.