Don't have anything specific to write tonight... but I feel like writing. My posts are incredibly random lately...
Sometimes I read friends' blogs and crack up at the hilarious things their kiddos say and do. And then I find myself thinking, "That would be fun." I guess that's progress, eh? ;-)
My calling is going to make me fat. No, really. I am in a presidency with three fabulous women and at our weekly (or more) meetings, they insist on having treats. I gladly partake. Tonight it was Andes Mints, Cookies and Cream Hershey's Kisses, and doughnuts. Yeah. Fatty me. IT ALL JUST TASTES SO GOOD!!!
* HUGE PET PEEVE * - When someone with a Master's degree can't spell or use correct grammar. Drives me absolutely bonkers. Oh, and when they don't use punctuation. Oh, and even if they DON'T have a Master's it bugs me. But I just can't help but think, "You went through all that schooling and you still can't write?"
Call me a jerk.
I am relatively chill person. I * THINK * I am easy to get along with (though I admit that whole awkwardly shy thing gets in the way sometimes...), and for the most part, things don't bother me. Water off a ducks back, right?
Well, I need to talk about something. There people in life right now that I CAN NOT stand. A thought of, or someone talking about these particular people makes my blood BOIL with fury. I can not believe how angry I feel over it all.
Blogs and Facebook DO NOT help.
I don't want to be like this. I am working to learn and know how to let go of these particular things - why should I be allowing these people to have such power over my peace and sanity? I am a decently forgiving person- but in these particular circumstances I just can't seem to get past it all. I feel like writing mean things on FB and blogs... I feel like lashing out and saying REALLY awful things to these people. Ugh- the natural man in me is in full force when it comes to these individuals.
But that is SO not who I am. Or who I want to be. Some days are better than others, of course. Some days - rarely - I can go an entire day without feeling that blood boil at the mention of a name. But it's a work in progress.
Mostly I would say that this last little rant is something better written in a journal than on the public stage that is my blog - I have class like that. ;-) BUT I am sure that there are some of you out there who have felt/are feeling the exact same way.
Besides all of the Sunday School answers, how do YOU deal with these kinds of feelings?
Being a grown up is way less cool than being a kid, P.S.
* Shudder *
Back to the good stuff!
I got a good coupon the other day! "Buy one oil change, get a second FREE"! Oh, I love good deals... now I have to run up the miles on my car so the coupon won't expire before I actually NEED an oil change! - SMIRK -
Thursday is pay day. I love pay day.
A friend (Thanks, Nicole...) told me that Chuck and I are like Flynn and Rapunzel. It made me little girl-y happy.
Do you see the resemblance???? :-)
10 comments:
Sometimes I feel that way... a lot. And I think blogs and facebook don't help because we see people through some kind of filter that they, themselves, are controlling. So they get to CHOOSE the person they are presenting. The internet is like a huge "look @ me and my awesomeness" pool of narcissism and high-school-maturity-level deception.
And I struggle with it because my own ego wants to be the coolest, most talented, awesomest, most spiritual, over-acheiving person and I don't know how to utilize facebook to show that!!!! ... probably because I'm not that person, but that's beside the point.
Either way - aside from my incoherent rambling... I'm saying I empathize.
P.S. Am I the only person commenting on your last 2 posts? I look like a stalker.
P.P.S. You guys totally look like Flynn & Rapunzel. Totally. And you know me... I'm no smoke-blower. So, take it for what it's worth. ;)
Honestly sometimes it just takes TIME. Which stinks, especially when you are in the middle of the hate. I have been holding a huge grudge against someone for almost eight years (several years longer than the person who was directly hurt) and I am just starting to be able to let it go. I refused to be friends with the person on facebook because I didn't want to see or hear about what he was doing. The two things that have helped me change my attitude the most have been time and seeing the complete forgiveness of the person he hurt the most. It's different in each situation though. Whatever your solutions are, I hope that you find them quickly so that you can be happy. You deserve it. Good luck!
I like you, think you're great... and totally agree that you look like Flynn and Rapunzel!
I think I have to focus on the small things to begin with. (Don't think bad thoughts about him until after lunch, delete all contact with her for a period of time, learn how not to cringe when he bears his testimony in sacrament meeting...I know, I have a long way to go.) But those small steps have helped me to get to bigger steps. Now I can look this one person in the eye and don't glare when he speaks to me.
And, now I will resume my happy thought and continue to think of you as Rapunzel. :)
I am so WITH you on the grown-up thing. So much responsibility (financial, emotional, religious - all of it) is super hard. And all the other grown-up things too. But I am blessed to have a job where I get to see, literally, what it would be like to be a kid forever, and it makes me grateful to have the life I have. Wish I had advice for you on the friend thing. Just keep praying! It might not sound like much (as in DOING something), but it WILL do a lot of good.
And you guys really do look like Flynn & Rapunzel. :)
ummmm.....were you talking about me because I totally spell things wrong on fb and blogs all the time!! ha ha!!! But I do think you look like flynn and rupunzel! But I love you and can't wait to SEEEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOUU!!! Yeah, and you should have kids, just for the funny things to say!!! Today Mekynzie no longer wanted to be a princess, but spiderman!! Ha HA, jk, but you would be a good mom, and our kids have to be college roomies and build forts that say no aoys allowed!!!!
Chuck's hair is better than Flynn's- or at least the last time I saw him. PLEASE tell me that he didn't grow it out into a Flynn-fro. I HATE it when guys grow the surfer look.
You totally look like them...I'm jealous!
Totally look like Flynn and Rapunzel! And I think you sing better than Mandy.
When I feel like that, i write a letter to the person. Then I can choose to give it to the person, keep it for myself, or burn it. I find that really figuring out why the blood is boiling helps. I also find that it helps get some of the boil out of the blood!
Other things are running. Let yourself be angry at the person so you can move through the stages and get to forgiveness. If you hold back, you never let yourself dive in and you always wonder just how "cold is the water." Dive in. Soak in it. You will want to get out!
I got that piece of advice from Tuesdays with Morrie. And it has helped me a lot!
I'm sorry you hurt. I'm sorry you're mad! I am glad you want to be different and you see that you are not normally like this.
You are a beautiful person and you make a beautiful 'Flynn & Rapunzel'.
So I have to say I totally relate about certain people making your blood boil and FB or Blogs not helping. It is hard because I feel things like 'if people only knew' and how can 'said person' get away with that. I think it makes us better people learning how to deal with those feelings. I eventually got off facebook and even though I miss all the fun updates it is worth missing out on the silliness. I control whose blogs I read so even though I do choose to read how good some people's lives are in spite of themselves, I should know better and stay away from it.
Oh well, I am glad to hear you are human, you are so amazing and I read your blog and I am just so proud of all that you have done with your life, so no worries if you have a human flaw. I am sure you will figure out how to take care of that one little thing.
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