The Tale of a Younger Me at Christmastime

Lets discuss my obsession with Ballet West's "The Nutcracker."

See the dresses and pantaloons on these girls? While most kids spend their holidays dreaming of toys and candy- I spent MY childhood obsessing over these "Party Girls."

Words can not describe how badly I wanted to be one of them.

I auditioned three times.

First Year: I wore my red shiny leotard in hopes I would be chosen as a "Buffoon." No cigar, kiddo. Thanks, Mommy, for getting my ears pierced at Claire's to ease this first rejection...

Second Year: I was tall enough to be a party girl- I must have been about ten? I spent the month of September preparing for the auditions - listening to The Nutcracker constantly and drawing motivational pictures of "Party Girls" and taping them ALL over my room. (Oh, how I hope I have some of those somewhere - ya know, for the day I actually get around to scrapbooking my childhood...) Audition day came. I remember how proud I was of the way I looked. Once again... rejection...

But I am a resilient little bugger!

Year Number Three: LAST CHANCE TO BE A PARTY GIRL. By the next year I would surely be too tall.

Now let's reminisce on the tragedy of this audition:

Again, I was proud of how I looked in my fantastic sparkly blue leotard (that matched my eyes exquisitely, thank you very much!) and well worn ballet slippers. I. Was. Ready. I'd drawn plenty of pictures and psyched myself up to dance like a star and they were GOING to cast me!

I was proud of my audition, and when it came time for the hundreds of little girls to sit on the floor as the cuts were made, I was confident. Number after number was read- and finally- the number of girls left was tiny.

"One more to cut!" the lady said. "The rest of you will be part of Ballet West's 'Nutcracker' this year.

I noticed the KSL news camera in the room ready to broadcast the reaction of the newest "Party Girls." Good.

I was in. I was giddy.

And then, THEN, they called the number. The last girl to be cut.

Me.

Ouch.

The girls start screaming and jumping up and down.

But not me. All I could do was sob in disbelief. And KSL decided to capture that moment and put it on TV that night. Way to rub salt in the wound, Carole Mikita- it's amazing I still worship you and your job!

Shake it off...

POINT IS:

I got over the trauma of never making "The Nutcracker" (And let's be honest- it was prophetic, right? I will NEVER be cast as a DANCER!) and I absolutely love and adore Ballet West's production.

I am a little miffed that the "Party Girl" choreography has changed since 1990, but whatever.

I would attend this production every year if I could. EVERY YEAR- like my cousins and I used to.

* Memories *

Grandma Colleen and our moms would pack us up for a night out in new, frilly dresses, and shiny black shoes.

We'd go to dinner and the ballet.

Those were happy, happy times.

My grandma was cool.

And I love Ballet West's "The Nutcracker." A lot.

Oh, and PS: The same year of the horrifying 'Nutcracker' rejection I WAS cast as a dancer in Utah Ballet's production of "The Monkey King." I was a raindrop, a monkey, and a birth giving stone. Yes. A stone that gave birth- to a monkey. Lucky me.