Sunday Sunshine

Emily and Her Mommy

What a heartbreaking and fantastic week I had. I've been filled with every kind of emotion, served those around me, and I've laughed and sung and cried and I've been angry- it seems like months ago that I returned from my trip- yet its only been a week.

Things that made me happy and that I'm grateful for this week:

1. Today, as I returned to Primary after four weeks of being gone, I was able to share my testimony of eternal families with all those little kiddos. Afterwards we sang together these words:

"I have a family here on earth. They are so good to me. I want to share my life with them through all eternity. Families can be together forever. Through Heav’nly Father’s plan. I always want to be with my own family, And the Lord has shown me how I can. The Lord has shown me how I can."

- Families Can Be Together Forever-

Hymn # 300

I am so grateful for my knowledge of this truth. I'm thankful that I was able to share it today. It made me happy. And it made me cry.

2. BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING!!! Yep, maybe I'm NUTS, but I LOVED waking up at 4:15 AM and hopping into my car, blasting the Christmas music, and battling the crowds. It. Was. Awesome!!! Know what? I didn't even buy much, but I had a GREAT time, Biff got a camera, and I got a vacuum. Nothing else could be asked for. :-)

3. Thanksgiving Dinners and Family! I had FOUR, yes FOUR Thanksgiving dinners. Phew. A seven day cruise and the four Thanksgiving dinners had ruined that whole "I can see my abs" comment of a few posts back, but whatever. I love all those people and the fun that we had together this week. I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS!

4. Great Friends: This week several of my dear friends called to share their concern and check on me and Biff and Brett. Thanks. It meant a lot. I am so thankful to have people to lean on during crazy times.

5. My Scentsys: Dang, my house smells nice.

6. My Car: Took me all over creation this week. I love her. Thanks, Sophie.

7. Good Books: While flying to Orlando last month I met a couple from Layton. I went to school with their son and when we got talking, I realized that they'd be great people to use the remainder of my park passes on. So, for three days I was able to sign the Masons into Walt Disney World. Made me feel great. They were sweet and got me a gift card for Barnes and Noble. I used it this week. Two new books. Happiness.

8. Christmas Decor! Tuesday I spent the day with Biff and Kensie decorating their place for Christmas!!! I haven't got to my own house yet, but I will. And again, I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS. This is the first holiday season since 2005 that I have been home. More happiness.

9. 8 Months! The 25th was our 8 month anniversary! YIPPEE!!

10. A Clean House: My house is clean tonight. Well, the majority of it anyway.

11. Veggies: After all the heavy food of this past week, I'm thankful for snap peas and carrots and baby tomatoes. Yummy.

12. It's going to be a busy three weeks. I'm working, I'm teaching, I'm playing wife, and I'm enjoying the season. Here we go...

Aboard the Disney Magic!

November 14-21, 2009

Our Room

In case of Titanic...

Day #2: Castaway Cay- The "Disney Island"

BIKES!

Day #3: Day at Sea

Cuba is in the background. I guess this is my impression of an oppressed person???
No idea.

Of course on the photo op morning I wore no makeup and was in the middle of a workout. Ha.

Day #4: Grand Cayman
Tragedy.

Stingray City. I KISSED A STINGRAY! I held him and he kissed me and Chuck kissed him.
Where are the pictures you ask? Let's not talk about it. It's the tragedy of my cruise. Boo.

OK- let's DO talk about it. Excursion lady was taking photos. Get the disc from her on the way back to the big boat. Long line. Amy procrastinates. Photo lady disappears. No photos for Amy. Amy cried. A lot.

Animals to greet us at night!

Pirates in the Caribbean

Day #5: Cozumel
X-Caret Park

BABY TURTLES!

AWESOME park. We floated down a river that went through caves and everything! Awesome. I enjoyed the little of Mexico that I was able to see!

Day #6 ANOTHER Day at Sea!

Gathering "Tat-oos" for Kensie



Day #7: BACK at Castaway Cay

My talented hubby strikes again.

Dinner at Palo!

New Friends!

Bye Disney Magic!!! Till Next Time...

Sunshine After All the Rain

This is bound to be a long winded post. So for those of you who make it through, I commend you.

The sunshine of my past week:

1. Emily. This sweet little girl came into our world for only nine minutes, but her presence has changed things forever. I can honestly say that I have never felt grief like this. I haven't experienced THIS kind of emotion and THIS sense of frailty EVER in my life.

And it's not even happening directly TO me.

I'm a pretty lucky girl to have made it this far into life without experiencing this kind of thing.

But now it's happening to the person who is most like me in the entire world. My baby sister. My Biffy. My Baby Bronto. Sissy. I hurt for her.

It is strange to grieve over someone you will never know in this life. But I guess it's not Emily I grieve FOR. (Though if I think too hard I get emotional over all the wonderful earthly experiences she'll never get to have...) But that little girl has it made. Straight to the Celestial Kingdom she goes! Now all the rest of us just have to live up to that standard and get back there to be with her.

This bit of doctrine has brought peace and hope to our family these past few days. From the Teachings of Joseph F. Smith:

Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and, pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: “You will have the joy, the pleasure, and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.” There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death. I love this truth. It speaks volumes of happiness, of joy and gratitude to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us.

Blessings, and what I see as miracles have come from this experience, and I am sure there are plenty more ahead.

In the mean time we keep living and smiling and grieving and laughing and playing and loving and serving. That's life. And I am grateful for it.

2. My home. I am SO thankful to be back in MY HOME with MY BED and MY SINK and MY DISHES, and MY GARAGE and MY STUFF. I love my house. My hubby was so nice to buy it for me.

3. SNOW!!! Even though I got stuck at a gas station in Alpine as I waited for the white-out conditions to pass, I was GIDDY with excitement over the flakes that swirled all around me! Bring on the holiday season!!!

4. I am anti- Christmas anything before Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving I have a heyday and the decorations and tree and music all come out. But before that- NO. Don't like it. I like to focus on Thanksgiving and THEN move on. ANYWAY- tonight as I was driving home, something quite strange happened. The classic "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby came on and I was REALLY happy about it! I got all warm and fuzzy inside and relished in the music. I think Christmas will come a little bit early for me this year. I need it. Biff needs it. Tomorrow I'm hauling of her Christmas stuff to her apartment and we're gonna go crazy.

5. My humidifier makes me happy.

6. The glorified boat ride was incredible and someday I will post all about it. WHAT A WONDERFUL WEEK WE HAD!!!

7. It's that time of year again!!!! Peppermint ice cream and hot fudge!!! Thank you Dreyers Slow Churned.

8. I love winter coats! And gloves and scarves and boots...

9. I'm really grateful that I am a "chill" person. We got home from Orlando on Saturday night, but our luggage decided it didn't want to follow us. Awesome. Three bags lost for 24 hours. Oh well. Didn't even really phase me. Stuff like that is just REALLY not worth ranting and raving over. Life will go on and it's O.K.

1o. Target. I got some super cute clothes there a few weeks ago, and the prices can't be beat. I love it.

November 23, 2009

Thanks to everyone today for your sweet words and prayers.

Too many thoughts and emotions to keep track of right now. But it really was a great day.

And this little girl keeps us all smilin'. Thanks, Kensie.

Saying Goodbye

My Little Niece:
Emily Elizabeth Stout
November 19, 2009

More to come soon. But this song sums up my thoughts for the day. I tried to make a video of my own- but the computer decided it would be a good day to act up. Sigh.

I never dreamed of this sorrow,

I never thought I'd have reason to lament,
I hoped I'd never know heartbreak,
How I wish I could change the way things went!
I wanted nothing but goodness,
I wanted reason to prevail,
Not this bare emptyness.
I wanted Days of Plenty.

But I refused to feel tragic,
I am aching for more than pain and grief.
There has got to be meaning,
Most of all when a life has been so brief.
I have got to learn something,
How can I give her any less?
I want life to go on.
I want Days of Plenty

You have to Believe,
There is reason for Hope.
You have to Believe
That the answers will come.
You can't let this defeat you.
I won't less this defeat you.
You must fight to keep her there,
Within you!

So Believe that she matters!
And Believe that she always will!
She will always be with you!
She'll be part of the days you've yet to feel!
She will live in your bounty!
She will live as you carry on your life!

So carry on,
Full of Hope,
She'll be there,

For all your Days of Plenty

Thanks, Alicia

The Bachelorguinette from Electric Spoofaloo on Take180.com

For the Love of...

I do believe I have mentioned, once or twice before, my love for this product. Well, today TIDE gets its own post.

I love Tide.

I love that it makes my clothes and sheets and towels smell HEAVENLY.

Someday when I have a few more dollars I will be a faithful purchaser of TIDE.

I love Tide.

Dear Santa: Is it silly to ask for some TIDE for Christmas???? :-)

One More Sleep...

Tomorrow I have a husband again. That makes me happy.

I love him.

Because of You - The Dream Lives On

For the third year in a row I was able to be a vocalist in a fancy schmancy show that they do every year at Disney. It's an award banquet and dinner for cast members who have been with the company for twenty or more years. The show is sentimental and full of really talented peeps. I'm blessed to be a part of it.

There weren't nearly as many pics this year, but I had fun playing with all these folks...

Shyness Misunterstood

I'm in a bit of a reflective mood today. My event is wrapping up, and I've had a day to run, reflect, and ponder my lil life.

It may come as a shock to many of you, and to others it won't be a surprise at all, but I am a painfully SHY person. Big social settings stress me out, I find it hard to carry on conversations with people I don't know well, and I would rather hang out with a group of close friends that can't get me to shut up. In this way, I'm a big nerd. It's OK. I've lived with it my whole life. I'm used to it.

That doesn't mean that I don't strive to change it. Sadly, I'm pretty bad at "putting myself out on a limb" and getting outside my comfort zone- but I do TRY.

Examples: My experience in Hong Kong was anxiety ridden at work for the first three months. I hardly talked to anyone, I was kind and myself when I DID, but I didn't know how to go out of my way to make friends and make myself comfortable in the situation. I'm obviously not the bar-hopping or clubbing type like my coworkers. I'd much rather curl up in a blanket and sit through The Notebook for the 1000th time. So that's what I did.

Then one day a curious thing happened: I came out of my shell. THEN they couldn't get me to shut up and would say things like, "Remember when you didn't talk???" Ha. Good memories. I always did have quite a bit of social anxiety with the Americans and Aussies that I worked with- but I came to a point where I was totally myself with the local Chinese and Filipinos. Explain THAT one... ????

The process repeated itself, though not AS stressfully, when I moved to Orlando and performed in Beauty and the Beast. I didn't fit in with the girls- there were three subjects I could contribute to in conversation (pets, American Idol, and ... I forget the other one..) But eventually, happy-hyper-funny-crazy Amy appeared. It became a game of mine to pull out something witty and brilliant so that all the girls in "The Bat Cave" would stare at me in amazement. "SHE CAN BE FUNNY!" Yes. And I'm quite good at it. :-)

I worked special events where the process started all over again- but because of the short duration, I never had time to really be myself in those situations. Bah.


Some folks chalk it up to me being "The Mormon Girl." And for that, I am sad. I feel terrible that I could leave that impression of my Church upon people. It has nothing to do with the Mormons, folks, I'm just SHY.

Most folks chalk it up to me being "stuck up" and "cocky." Not the case. I'm just SHY.

... I'm just shy. Everything else in my life is pretty darn near perfect, but THAT is my challenge.

Guess I have a lifetime to figure it out...

Sooner than later would be nice.

Sunday Sunshine

1. Menchies. Thank you, Beautiful Yogurt Shop, for coming into my life. PLEASE BLESS someone opens one of these in UTAH.

2. Girls Night Out. Pizza. Friends. Menchies, of course. Great weeknight.

3. In five more sleeps I will have a husband again. YAY!!! I can't wait.

4. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. WHICH MEANS that Black Friday, holiday music, Christmas trees, candles, snow- It's all on its way!!! YIPPEE!!!

5. The Conference edition of the Ensign is out and getting some good use this week by your truly. I'm so grateful for the words of the Prophet and the other leaders of the Church. What inspired messages they all gave us. Can't wait to dig in.

6. Things are looking up for my Biff. For now, anyway. We're all still praying that that little girl of hers will keep on growing and come out many weeks from now healthy and ready for life. There're still lots of unknowns and scary things, but please keep up those prayers and happy thoughts going her way.

7. I love to clean. It makes me happy. I love having a clean, nice smelling place of my own.

8. JIF Natural Peanut Butter. Pretty good. Even Chuck likes it. Impressive.

9. In five more sleeps I will have a husband again. YAY!!! I can't wait. (Oh... did I already say this???)

10. What a privilege it is to work with talented people. Really, I feel so honored to be a part of this group I am currently working with. They are some incredibly talented people and I have LOVED being a part of the show with them this year.

11. The Biggest Loser Cardio Max has become a part of my life again. Thanks, Bob, for making me feel like I will someday have muscle on these legs of mine. Someday...

12. Oatmeal. I still love it.

13. Again, I feel blessed at the generousity of those in my life right now. Thanks for making things a bit easier in lots of ways.

14. Five more sleeps.

15. My former roomie gave me a BATH BOMB from Basin. Can't wait to use the thing. It smells heavenly.

16. It's about time for me to make my annual Christmas list. Those who know me well know that this is no small task. MY Christmas lists come with sales lists, price comparisons, and detailed item descripitions. They've been that way since I was about seven. Yes. I. Am. Really. Cool.

17. Life is good right now. I feel blessed. I'm still adjusting to life without a steady job and stuff, but I'm getting used to it and really enjoying it as well. Yep. I'm happy.

Happy Week-ing, Folks.

How Did We Meet???

Because it's Saturday morning. And I have no husband right now. And because I am bored.

Play with me.

HOW DID WE MEET? Do you know?? Everyone play the game! Copy and paste this phrase on your blog, you will find it amusing to see how many people respond & what they say.

Lazy Morning.

A BLOG I came across this morning... Pretty entertaining.

From Biff's Blog...

An Explanation... (Again, from BIFF'S BLOG)

I have been pregnant the last 18 weeks and have not told a lot of people about it :-) sorry people. Unfortunately this exciting announcement has been dampened by a difficult pregnancy.

This baby is a complete surprise to us. Before I even new I was pregnant I had strange bleeding. Soon after this I found out I was pregnant and the Doctor had me come in for an ultrasound at 6 weeks to make sure everything was okay. At this time they diagnosed me with a subchorionic hemorrhage. In easier terms it basically means that there is a bleed where the sac attaches to the uterus (later this area because the placenta). They put me on bed rest for a week which I strictly obeyed.... okay, okay... I actually did the bed rest thing for almost three days and then went on a vacation to San Francisco with Brett, Kensie, Amy and Chuck. We had planned this vacation long before to visit my Aunt Jodi and Uncle Jeff. This sounds horrible I am sure but I honestly got more rest there with so many people willing to watch Kensie the tornado. When we did go out and about we rented a wheel chair that Brett got to push all over San Fransisco. I told Amy and Jodi they were not aloud to release any wheelchair photos until I had told people I was pregnant. At this point I was only 7 weeks along and I was told because it was such a large bleed that the chances of me miscarrying were very high. Because of this we only told a select few I was pregnant.

At 10 weeks I had another ultrasound and the doctor told me the subchorionic hemorrhage had healed. He said, "It looks like you are going to be one of those people where this heals and you have a great pregnancy". At fourteen weeks I started to bleed a little bit so the doctor scheduled the big ultrasound for 18 weeks instead of 20. So last Tuesday I had the 18 week ultrasound which showed about 6cm of blood down by the cervix. They believe the subchorionic hemorrhage has not healed, and now the edge of the placenta is slightly torn away from the uterus. At that time the doctor put me on bed rest for two weeks. Well, the next morning (Wednesday) I woke at 5:00am in a puddle of bright red blood. Brett took me to the ER and the baby was okay. We were there about 3 hours and were finally able to go home. On Friday I woke in another puddle of bright red blood at 4:00am. We spoke with the Doctor on call and I went into the clinic when it opened at 9:00am. They did another ultrasound and the baby is still doing great. They have done labs to make sure I have not lost too much blood and so far I am okay. I woke up one more time Saturday night in a puddle of blood but the baby is moving and doing well.

Now you are pretty much updated with my pregnancy so far. I am on bed rest for two weeks but if I do not bleed for one week then I can slowly increase my activity. I have an appointment next week just to check the babies heart rate and then in two weeks they will do another ultrasound.

Now you know the real reason I am updating my blog... I am bored to death and have nothing else to do :-) I am doing okay however and I am just grateful that we are blessed with so many family members close by willing to help out. I am sure you are all wondering one more thing...

It's a Girl!!!

Southern Style Sunday Sunshine

Happies of This Week:

1. Dear Sky Mall: Thanks for entertaining me for several hours in the last few days. I now know that if I ever need slippers with lights on the toes, that I can purchase them from your handy dandy, coffee stained catalog.


Oh, and if I ever need a neck rest that looks like a real kitty, I'll give you a call. However, I wish you would feature that item in your online catalog so I could show my readers. Fix that, please.

2. I spent the day working with great people and extremely talented vocalists. Great day.

3. I'm very blessed to have some very generous people in my life. Thanks to those of you who are making this Southern experience as cost efficient as possible. I'm still a newlywed and I THOROUGHLY appreciate your kindness. :-)

4. I had a FANTASTIC time at the salon the other day. Thank heaven for scissors and hair dye! (And PS: I never thought I would be "that kind" of girl- who dyed her hair and kind of obsessed over it... well... here I am... and I am HAPPY that I'm no longer as content with my dead mouse colored blonde hair). It's just an expensive habit... which is WHY I hadn't had it done in NINE MONTHS!!!

5. The change away from Daylight Savings makes me happy. Standard time reminds me that the holidays are on their way!

6. I'm being reminded of my single days tonight... roommates at Break the Fast and a CES fireside... I'm hanging out here listening to the broadcast. It's great. And it makes me happy. I'm just enjoying it in a different capacity than I did when I lived in Orlando. Ha.

7. My sister has received a number of tender mercies and blessings in her life this week, but she is in need of a great deal more. Could you please include her in your prayers? The pregnancy has encountered some major complications... That would give me more reasons for "Sunshine" this coming week. :-)

8. I love my house. I do. And I am so thankful for my cute husband for buying it for us.

9. I still love my wedding ring. Always will.

10. Cereal is my favorite food. Besides pizza.

11. Had a Red Mango Monday with my Kallie Ann on Monday. And I got to see my Playmill lady Bronwyn (who I still see as an 11 year old... yikes...) on Friday. She's all grown up now and getting ready for her first semester at BYU-I.

. . . So there ya go. Hope y'all have a great week. Stay tuned for more randoms. I feel like I am losing readers.

Gotta come up with some good posts soon!