Life.
Is it strange that I am only now, just a year shy of thirty, seeing with my own eyes, and feeling with my own heart, how ROUGH life can be?
Those who know me well know VERY well that my teenage years/early twenties were no piece-o-cake. I have not led the charmed life that many of you would suspect by seeing my life on the surface of this bloggity blog blog.
But to be perfectly honest, the last few years have been CHARMED.
So charmed, that perhaps, I've forgotten all the tears and the anguish and pain that this life ultimately inflicts.
This year, 2010, has reintroduced me, however indirectly, to those elements of life. And it's rough. REALLY rough.
Is it wrong that everything I have been witnessing for the past several months literally makes me scared of LIFE?
I literally feel like my eyes are being plucked open as to make me keenly aware that sometimes, life just SUCKS. (And that is a word I do not use... so yep...)
What would I give to go back to the days of my naivete... The days of being concerned over the fact that I was wearing BUCKLE shoes to my 6th grade Valentines Dance... or that I had to stay in from recess for talking too much during reading time... Yeah, Amy. Life was really hard for you. . .
What'd I'd give to see those kinds of problems now...
I blog about all of this because it weighs me down lately. Writing somehow allows me to find some sense in the craziness.
I write not to set off alarm or make eyebrows raise. I simply write to say, "Geez- the pretty princess, after about six really great years, has awakened to the fact that things are sometimes still REALLY hard."
But I guess the bright, shining hope behind all of this is:
2 Nephi 2:11
For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
SO yep, times can get REALLY hard and REALLY painful, and REALLY REALLY awful.
BUT
Times can also get REALLY wonderful, and REALLY joyful, and REALLY exciting. Is it wrong that I live for those times?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Complexitites
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5 comments:
i love your blog and i love you and i love all that you share and express. each post makes me happy at the thought of the possibility of our moving to utah and getting to hang out with you.
i'm really grateful to you for blogging about your feelings and experiences the way you do. right now i'm wishing that i had been blogging back a couple years ago during some less than fun months in our lives.
and you're right... sometimes life just plain sucks but i'd like to think (as i'm sure you do too) that the happy times greatly outweigh the sucky ones. :o)
loves!
Amy I loved your blog. I think people just write on their blog about how life is prefect for them when really it is not. I love that we go through hard times because we always get the good times. Thank you for your post. I think it makes us all feel normal and we aren't going through hard times alone. Plus it is hard moving from the "magical land" everything at Disney is SO happy. It is a hard move that is for sure. LOVE your blog!!!
I had a perfect year once. It started a month before Ava was born and ended the day after my 27th birthday (when I found out Terry would be moving in). The best part though is that I knew at the time that it was about as perfect as life could possibly get so I appreciated it.
Whenever I feel like my life really sucks (which is more often than I like to admit) I play the "it could be worse if..." game. I highly recommend it, it's way better to my psyche for me than counting my blessings.
Thanks for your thoughts, Amy. I hope things are getting better! I love how you are always counting your blessings- I'm sure that helps get you out of the blues when they do come.
So, when are we getting together? We've got to make something happen!
Even though you may think that you have had it really easy for the last several years, I know that you are a really, really strong person. You are going to help the people you love through their hard times, and in turn all the people that love you (and that's a lot) are always going to be there when you need them. And lucky for you you have such an awesome husband! He really sounds like a great guy!
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