"Such an Amazing Journey... It's Been Such a Blast"

Yeah. I started this draft last week and never posted. But since tonight is the WOMEN TELL ALL episode, I thought I'd get this humdinger on the bloggy.


Jake-

HAS it been amazing? Have you made a lot of money keeping Vienna around so that ABC's show ratings stay high?!?! Hmph.

Gia + Jake = AWKWARD. At least you think she's pretty, right Jake? That's about the only compliment you can come up with for her. Oh yeah, and "she's so deep." All we've seen of that depth is the $700 shoes you keep referring to.

Tenley + Jake = SAPPY. Were you really a sucker for her dance at her hometown studio, Jake? Cuz the rest of us just thought it was weird. I still want Tenley to be the one for you. I LIKE her. Winner question of the evening (Totally being serious here too): "How will you pursue me out in 'the real world?' " Thanks, Tenley, for having somewhat of a head on your shoulders. You're sappy and have RS voice, but I still like you best.

Jake: The beach scenes of Gia and Tenley were awfully similar... there hasn't been much hot tub action this season- maybe you should have taken one of them to the hot tub. OH WAIT! You had a bath with Gia. Nevermind.

Vienna + Jake = BLAH. "Hi Sweetheart!" Thanks, Vienna, for making me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I still don't like her, Jake. She is young and giddy and caught up in the fantasy world of all this Bachelor junk. Sigh.

Favorite Jake quote of the evening: "Ali, you drove away with a part of my heart." Really Jake? Was that on your motorcycle??

Nice, creative editing, Bachelor editing team. We all totally fell for your, "Get on a plane RIGHT NOW," edit for Ali. But those of us who read the spoilers were totally on to your mind games.

Ali: If you went home, WHY were you living in a hotel, wearing their bathrobe, and drooling over the photos of Jake on the nightstand next to your Marriott telephone? The staging of this show kills me sometimes! :-)

PS: How many of these woman do you ACTUALLY sleep with, Mr. J? We know that ABC wants us to think that you sleep with them all, but really? Am I just a naive little Mormon girl that thinks you couldn't possibly be ok doing that?? Probably.

The end.