Ed? Ed???

Dear Jake,

Haven't you ALREADY appeared on the Jillian/Ed season of The Bachelorette? WHY then, are we having a repeat of last season's fabricated-to-add-drama event of someone leaving the show because if they don't, they'll be fired?? Dang it Ali. And I was really liking you again last night. (Truth be told that I knew all along this would happen... I'm a spoiler freak, BUT it still bugs me.) Now the only even remotely possible choice is Tenley. (Though, again, I know the end- but I will keep my mouth shut.)

Jacob, tell Gia to STOP putting her hands in her mouth CONSTANTLY and standing cross-legged at the Rose Ceremonies. NEITHER make her look sexy. Her insecurity thing is getting uber annoying. We know you want to be "different" from the other girls, Gia. You are.

I was so sure that Vienna was a spoiled little "Isleworth" (for you Floridians) -type of girl. But ha! Nope! She comes from a little house in Sanford. Who woulda thunk? I half expected her family to have a skinned alligator ready to eat on the dinner table. Hmmm.

Tenley: DO NOT DANCE ON NATIONAL TV. Just don't, OK? I had hoped that the bit on the beach the first episode was a fluke because you were on the sand... or something. But really, honey, you shouldn't be making a fool of yourself like that. It's painful for us all.

And thank you, Tenley's family, for the Joshua 24:15 throw blanket sprawled across the interview chair. Now we know you're religious. Practically Mormon. That's nice.

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy, Jake, do you focus so much on Tenley's divorce, but practically ignore the fact that your little Vienna was once married as well? Bah. I know you like her. But whhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy?

And Jake, how much are the producers paying you to keep her around??? It makes for great TV.