Sunday, December 30, 2007

For the Love of Biff.

Heather has inspired me. As she discussed her memories of childhood Christmases past, I got reminiscing about my experiences at Christmastime- or, particularly experiences with my little sister. Ah the years of torture I put her through. A chosen few of the stories follow:



The Story of "Diamond"


We all know this dinosaur is Little Foot from "The Land Before Time," right? But years after my sister got this giant stuffed animal for Christmas she decided that it not only was a GIRL, but her name was DIAMOND. What the ?????? Also known as "Dinosaur," Diamond/Little Foot was Biff's most beloved stuff animal. He/She went everywhere with her. One day I decided it would be funny if Dinosaur died. Sooooooooooooooo before Biff woke up, I retrieved the stuffed beast, hung it with a jump rope in the closet, and made a halo out of a hanger, yellow construction paper, and glitter. Amy the villan laughed devilishly as the younger sister made the discovery of the hanging dinosaur. It took some time for my mom to convince Elizabeth that Dinosaur wasn't really dead. Hee hee hee.




QUINTS. I LOVED these dolls! Even though I was getting older when they came out, I played with them constantly and had several different Quint collections. One day I discovered that the Quints fit easily into the check boxes that my mom would give us to keep things in. Now, being inspired by the previously mentioned Margaret O'Brien (Tootie), in Meet Me in St Louis, who buried her "dead" dolls in the back yard, I thought it was a great idea to "bury" the Quints in the check box. However, I certainly did not want to bury MY Quint dolls, so I convinced Elizabeth that it would be "FUN" to bury hers. We, of course, had a funeral for the Quints, buried them a whole foot into the ground, let them stay there for a few hours, got bored with the idea of dead Quints, and dug 'em back up.




Biff's Skipper wasn't black. Ha ha. But this is the beautiful Homecoming Skipper that Elizabeth got one year. The doll had BEAUTIFUL long, flowing blonde curls, and somehow I convinced my sister that she would look better with bangs. Elizabeth, trusting her wise older sister, took the scissors and snipped the hair off the front of Skipper's head. HA HA. After the haircut I also convinced her it would be REALLY neat if she held Skipper's hair up to the humidifier we had in our room. Steam+plastic Barbie hair= Froof. This is how Homecoming Skipper the Ugly Haired.



Here's the kicker:

As I was outgrowing Barbies, Elizabeth was at the height of her Barbie career. Truthfully, I LOVED playing as well, but thought I would be looked down upon by family and friends if anyone knew such a secret. Biff and I had a Barbie world in our basement. The entire back room was dedicated to everything Barbie- it was an entire LAND of everything Barbie we owned.

1993 was the 30 year anniversary of the Kennedy assassination. Amy the 12-year-old became fascinated with the story, and decided that when her little sister wanted to play the "house version" of Barbie (you know, Barbie dates, Barbie gets married, Barbie has babies...) , she would instead break into a Barbie version of the Kennedy assassination. Poor Biff was more than disturbed by her big sister's bizarre new version of Barbie.

... Are you disturbed by me now?


12 comments:

Trever and Heather said...

The Suicide of Diamond the She-Dinosaur should be made into a children's book. It would be a classic.

Kecia said...

Would it be suicide or homicide in this case?

Amy you are hilarious. It makes me wish I had a little sister to torment, but alas, I WAS the little sister.

Mrs. Egg said...

i loved my quints, they were so awesome. i can't imagine having quints in real life though. ahh. remember the stroller & the crib. poor biff, does she remember all these horrific events? and can she laugh about them now?
i tortured my niece chelsey, and she tortured me back. i have scars to prove it. 7 years difference is like a little sister.

Michelle said...

Wow. You were a mean sister. I was NEVER that mean to my sisters!

So funny! Love you!

Taylor Thompson said...

I LOVED Quints! I got them for Christmas when I was 5 or 6...can't remember...

Kecia said...

cute blog page! I love it!

Amy said...

It's all thanks to Jamie! She did it for me! Thank you thank you for making my blog cute. Hee hee.

Aubrey said...

I've never heard of Quints until now, reading your blog. Cute blog, Jamie.

Aubrey said...

Okay, all that stuff is way funny--al I could think of to be mean to Ashley with was to hit her really hard. It was great until she started hitting back.

Anonymous said...

Well Amy, I admit that playing barbies with you was very interesting... but very exciting! I loved it! I think I found these events as fun as you did... except the dinosaur hanging of course. The only event I did not like was the red convertable collition down the stairs = one legged Ken.

MaryAnn said...

I loved my Quints! Yeah I was probably too old too, but hey when something's fun, it's fun! We(sisters and brother) used to make junk yards out of all our barbie stuff/accessories and the quints lived there. I had the wagon set so we'd pack them up with their belongings and run away from the orphanage to live in the junkyard...silly I know but fun!

Chelz said...

The little foot section is still putting me in a giggle fit!!!